[personal profile] moongirl24
Title: That Bubbly Feeling
Fandom: Queer as Folk
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Timeframe: Set immediately after 308
Rating: R
Word Count: 2227 words
Warnings: None
Summary: It is such a weird feeling. It is like I’m falling in love with him all over again.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own these characters.

Author's Notes: Written for the bubbly challenge at [livejournal.com profile] boys4all.

A huge thank you to [livejournal.com profile] freakykat for betaing this story for me! :)


THAT BUBBLY FEELING


The floor in Brian’s office is not particulary comfortable. And that is not something I would usually pay any attention to or even think about, but when you are naked and lying on it you suddenly see things a little differently. My body is aching all over, but somehow I would not want it any other way. Somehow, this is perfect. Because I’m in Brian’s arms for the first time in months. We just fucked for the first time in months. I’m close to him again, I’m touching him again. How can anything else matter?

I don’t know what I expected when I knocked on the door to Brian’s office earlier. All I knew was that because of that whole ‘orange is the new blue’ shit, I had fucked up my chance to get Brian back, and that somehow, I had to fix it. I guess I had sort of planned what I was going to say, but planning never works very well with Brian because he always does something unexpected. Whether it is a look he sends you or his body language or something he says. This time it was the way he was looking at me so intensely that all I could do was stare back at him. It was as if there was something invisible there keeping our eyes locked on each other as we talked.

I got much more than I could hope for when I walked into that room. But that’s the thing about Brian, you just never know with him. He always surprises you. Just like he did when he told me – maybe not in so many words, but in the only way he could - that he wanted me back.

When we finally kissed it was gentle and hurried at the same time. We undressed each other with impatient movements, and I longed so much to feel Brian’s naked skin under my hands again. It had been too long, I was starving for him. We were all over each other, smiling, laughing, kissing. Crazy about each other and done pretending that we weren’t. And when we were naked in front of each other and Brian opened a drawer in his desk to reveal the storage of condoms hidden there, I started giggling, almost uncontrollably, for no good reason at all.

He knew just the way to silence me though, and the kiss he gave me was so all-consuming that I could no longer sense anything else. Before I even knew it, he had the condom on, and was silently making sure I was ready. And believe me, I was. I was more ready than I had ever been.

And when he slid inside it was like things were finally falling into place. In more ways than one.

Brian shifts a little next to me. His right arm is around me, his hand brushing lightly over my upper arm. My head is resting on his shoulder, and I’m absently making patterns on his chest with my fingers. I love this. Just lying closely together after sex, just feeling the moment, and each other.

I shiver slightly, and he notices and pulls me a little tighter to him, kissing my temple.

“Are you cold?” His voice is so soft, and somehow it makes me shiver again.

“Just a little. I’m okay.” I shift in his arms, trying to make myself a little more comfortable.

“Let’s go back to the loft. This floor is-“

“Uncomfortable. I know”, I say as I lift myself up on my elbow. “Yeah, lets go. I miss your bed.”

I almost say our bed, because that is how I used to think of it. I fucked that up, or maybe we both did, but I hope that someday I can call it that again.


***


It is the first time I’m in Brian’s new car.

The moment I open the door on the passenger side and get inside, I know it will take me a while to get used to it. He bought it while I was with Ethan, and I know that having a car like this has been a dream of Brian’s for a long time. And it really is a very cool car, but I’m still not convinced. I always liked the Jeep, and this car is... different. I wasn’t around when he bought this car. Somehow that makes me feel weird about it.

But I soon discover that there isn’t much room inside, which means that Brian and I are sitting closer together here than we did in the Jeep. I have to admit that I’m not exactly complaining about that. Maybe I will like this car after all.

Anyway, I don’t really care about the car right now because this day is just too beautiful.

I lean back in the seat with a happy sigh as Brian starts the engine. I feel great. I feel like singing. And dancing. And standing on a rooftop shouting out to the world that I love Brian Kinney.

It is such a weird feeling. It is like I’m falling in love with him all over again.

I can’t help but laugh. That kind of laughter that bubbles up from the inside just out of pure happiness. I couldn’t have stopped it even if I wanted to. Brian sends me a questioning look. “What?”

“Nothing”, I grin. “I just feel sort of... bubbly.”

“Bubbly?” We have stopped at a red light, so Brian turns to look at me with a weird expression on his face.

“Yeah. Bubbly.” I don’t know any other way to describe it.

Brian turns and looks at the road again as the light shifts to green and he speeds up, and doesn’t look at me. Then a small smile slowly spreads across his face. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

Again he surprises me. Just when I expect him to mumble something about ‘fucking teenagers’ or something else Brian-like, he does the exact opposite. I have a feeling I’ll never learn all there is to know about him.

On the other hand, the surprises are part of the thrill. A part of what makes him Brian.

I smile at him, and move my hand over to let it rest on his thigh. It’s like I have to touch him, to make sure that what is happening right now is real. For a minute Brian does nothing to let me know he’s even noticed it, he keeps his eyes on the road and his hands on the steering wheel as we move through the evening traffic.

But then I feel something warm closing around my hand and a moment later his hand is covering my own.


***


One blowjob and two fucks later I’m sitting naked on the bed in the loft. Brian is on the phone with someone, grumpy because the ringing interrupted us in our activities. I think it’s Lindsay, because I heard him mention Gus’ name a moment ago.

I have been to the loft since... well, since the Rage party, but only for short visits. To pick up something I forgot or to talk to Brian about something. And maybe I sometimes made up excuses to come here because I wanted to see him. Not that I will ever tell him that.

But I never stayed long, and being here felt weird anyway. I felt like I had no right to come to the loft anymore.

So this is the first time in months that I have really been here. I’ve missed it. More than I ever thought I would. This is home, it has been for a long time.

I sweep my eyes over the loft while listening to Brian discussing something with Lindsay on the phone. Not much has changed. If anything it’s much tidier now, without my stuff lying around everywhere.

I lie back on the bed and look up at the ceiling instead. I know every inch of that ceiling. I used to lie here in bed at night, or early in the morning, and look up at the ceiling, while listening to the sounds of Brian breathing next to me. It used to be some of my favorite moments, just lying like that. I always felt so safe and warm and happy.

I close my eyes and feel myself start to drift off. But then there is movement next to me and warm lips on my own.

“Wakey wakey, Sunshine”, he is whispering against my ear. “I’m not done with you yet.”

I smile in my half-sleep, and when I open my eyes a few seconds later his face is only inches from mine.

After that we only see each other.


***


We go to Babylon that night.

On the dancefloor we are moving to the music. We are surrounded by men, sweat, heat, but I sense little of it because our bodies are so close and I can’t take my eyes away from Brian.

I’m high. Not on drugs, but from the sensations of being in Brian’s arms again. Neither of us say anything. Neither of us have to. The music is too loud, and sometimes words are just overrated. Instead we talk with our bodies. We say everything we need to say through kisses, touches, hands brushing through each other’s hair. I missed you, I want you, I love you...

Lots of men are watching us, but I don’t care. In fact I like it. I like showing them that this man is mine. Maybe they will have him for a few minutes in the backroom at some point, maybe they already have, but he will never belong to any of them. Because he’s mine. Mine.

God, I’m so damn confident right now that I feel like I could take over the world.

I know our friends are watching us as well, and I love that even more. They all thought Brian and I were over and there is just something very satisfying in proving them wrong. I often got the feeling that they never took what Brian and I had seriously, that they never saw it for what it was. What it is. Well, wrong again.

Our hands are everywhere, touching, searching for every bit of skin available. All coherent thoughts disappear from my mind. I’m burying my head in Brian’s shoulder, smelling his scent, a scent that only sends new sensations through my body. God, I’ve missed that smell. Arms around Brian’s neck I hold on tight, never wanting to let go. I want to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming, only I can’t be because this is a million times better than any dream I have ever had.

Then we kiss, and it’s heaven. It starts out as a soft touch, but after a while he is kissing me harder and firmer, almost possessive, and I feel like I’m being lifted from the face of the earth and transported to someplace else where only me and him and this moment exist. His hands are everywhere; in my hair, on my back, around my waist, around my shoulders, and as the kiss increases in intensity I’m letting out a small whimper. Sometimes it’s almost too much, too intense.

He pulls away a little, resting his forehead against mine, our noses touching. I feel dizzy and unsteady all of a sudden, but Brian’s arms are around me and hold me in place. I close my eyes and feel his warm breath on my face. He is breathing as hard as I am. I wrap my arms around him and just hold on to him.

“You okay?” he whispers.

“Yeah. God, I’ve missed you.”

He kisses me once more in response, and then he pulls me with him into the backroom. And then we are kissing again, and he pulls the zipper on my jeans down while my hands are on his back under his shirt.

We just can’t get enough. Never enough.


***


Later, we walk back to the loft together. The temperature has dropped quite a bit since we arrived at Babylon a few hours ago, and I’m shivering slightly as we walk down Liberty Avenue.

I reach for Brian’s hand and discover that it is a lot warmer than my own. I grab it, half expecting him to pull it away again because hand-holding is usually far too lesbianic for him. He allowed it for a while after the bashing, but nothing was normal during that time. More than once have I heard him making snide remarks at couples who walk down the street holding hands.

But this man just never cease to amaze and surprise me. He curls his fingers around mine and holds on to me with a firm grip. I give his hand a small squeeze, and he squeezes back, holding on to me tightly, silently telling me all the things I want to hear. You’re mine. I’m never letting you go again. When I look up at him he keeps his eyes on the street ahead of us, but he is not able to hide the smile tugging at his lips.

I feel like laughing again, and I find myself grinning like a fool. I feel overwhelmed and wonder if it’s possible to explode just out of pure happiness.

I’m bubbling.

I love this feeling.


THE END

I hope you like! :)
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moongirl24

January 2014

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